Deep wounding loss!
Great pain in my heart
My life is but dross
Since we had to part
My dreams are all gone
My hopes come to naught
I sit here alone
Depressed and distraught
I'm heavy as lead
No energy to function
Fit only for bed...
stalled at a junction
My whole world is gone...
possessions, position,
in-laws, joint friends,
blown to perdition
Defenceless, alone,
isolated, sad,
was there ever a time
When things were so bad?
I grieve at my fate
though it leaves me so tired
For activities I'm late,
distracted, miswired
Can't seem to take part,
enthusiasm gone...
so much broken heart
to dwell upon
It's all about change,
losses and growth,
extending my range,
casting off sloth
But security was there!
in my disintegrated past.
There were people to care...
relationships to last
And now I'm not sure...
It's all a new game!
World wobbling around
without reference frame
There only is me
and my meagre resources
Dubious options
and uncertain courses!
It needs all my strength
and presence of mind
to handle this crisis...
get out of this bind
But I'm crippled with grief,
too burdened with worry
to turn over new leaf,
in fresh pastures scurry
Not much of a chance!
Barely surviving!
Pricked by a lance
In need of reviving!
Positive thoughts
are fragile and rare
Negative thoughts
Bring me constant scare
And under them all
that great aching void...
The life that is gone!
The dreams now destroyed
An end to the tears?
Nowhere in sight!
They say it takes years
and I've run out of fight!
There's no going back
My bridges are burned!
No way off this rack
My love has been spurned!
Someone to blame?
That might help a bit,
but responsibility and choice
on my shoulders sit
I did what I had to
and it sure wasn't easy!
My nerves were on edge,
my stomach was queasy
It couldn't go on,
I had to get out...
orderly retreat
or panicky rout
Out of the frying pan
meant into the fire
As in "get burned"...
not just "perspire"
"Things must get worse
Before they get better!"
- I've followed this adage
to the nightmarish letter
How one survives?
That is the question!
The answer arrives...
